perception
I was at my theatre rehearsal Friday afternoon and we did this sort of game but then again not. Now, I don't wanna dive head-deep into theatre theories and all that stuff but it's basically how generally there are four types of people: water, earth, fire and air people. And just as the elements, they have certain characteristics e.g. fire is constantly moving and loud etc. and when you play a role, it might help to kind of think about where you would place the character you're playing. Anyways, since we just started rehearsing our new play each one of us had to firstly place themselves where they think their personality fits (I placed myself more in the direction of water but a bit of air too as I'm air type af when it comes to things I'm passionate about). After that, we had to look at another person in our group and say if we think they placed themselves correctly or not. Funnily enough, people said I should move more in the direction of the earth type which tbh and if you really know me is nearly not me at all because a) I cannot keep still at all and b) am never cool or calm but rather just obsessively worrying about everything 24/7. And that kinda got me thinking about our perception of ourselves (as well as other people's perception of US but that's something I don't want to talk about that much in this post).
Today, as you might have seen on my tumblr, I spent some hours listening to old songs I absolutely ADORED during my childhood. Of course there were then also many memories arising and I began, again, to reassess how I view my "old" me (meaning who I was as a child continuing a bit until you-know-what happened in 2014).
And even though I already came to the realization that my childhood wasn't as perfect as I sometimes thought it was in hindsight, there were some new thoughts appearing.
Now I was already a bit the odd one out, I was kinda doing my thing, loving the things I loved and there were countless times (as I now remember) when people gave me shit about it, laughed about me, made fun of me etc. But somehow it never really stopped me from doing what I loved; I did it again and again and again. I didn't CARE what others thought of me because I was having the most fun of my life. And by doing so, I made tons of friends or acquaintances or whatever you want to call it. I guess the appeal was that no matter what happened, I nearly always remained optimistic and kind-hearted and welcoming.
Nowadays it's not as easy for me to just shake criticism or mean words off; they stick in my mind for weeks even MONTHS at times. And I'm wondering how that new me that is currently still evolving can newly learn that vulnerability and being yourself is okay and look at herself with full love again.
I'm still learning. And maybe it's good to reevaluate situations and moments and memories from time to time just to learn more about yourself and widen that limited perception about the person you are. And maybe if you are getting so sure about who you are as a person, other people's different perception won't bother you as much anymore as you know who you REALLY are.
Wishing you good luck on finding a way to perceive yourself correctly and hoping then you'll find a life of your own,
xxx Sarah
Today, as you might have seen on my tumblr, I spent some hours listening to old songs I absolutely ADORED during my childhood. Of course there were then also many memories arising and I began, again, to reassess how I view my "old" me (meaning who I was as a child continuing a bit until you-know-what happened in 2014).
And even though I already came to the realization that my childhood wasn't as perfect as I sometimes thought it was in hindsight, there were some new thoughts appearing.
Now I was already a bit the odd one out, I was kinda doing my thing, loving the things I loved and there were countless times (as I now remember) when people gave me shit about it, laughed about me, made fun of me etc. But somehow it never really stopped me from doing what I loved; I did it again and again and again. I didn't CARE what others thought of me because I was having the most fun of my life. And by doing so, I made tons of friends or acquaintances or whatever you want to call it. I guess the appeal was that no matter what happened, I nearly always remained optimistic and kind-hearted and welcoming.
Nowadays it's not as easy for me to just shake criticism or mean words off; they stick in my mind for weeks even MONTHS at times. And I'm wondering how that new me that is currently still evolving can newly learn that vulnerability and being yourself is okay and look at herself with full love again.
I'm still learning. And maybe it's good to reevaluate situations and moments and memories from time to time just to learn more about yourself and widen that limited perception about the person you are. And maybe if you are getting so sure about who you are as a person, other people's different perception won't bother you as much anymore as you know who you REALLY are.
Wishing you good luck on finding a way to perceive yourself correctly and hoping then you'll find a life of your own,
xxx Sarah
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