I've been wondering a lot about what I should talk about this week because nothing seemed to really have stroke my mind (except for 5 days of headache and having to take meds but oh well, guess my period buddy is on its way). But then I watched Savannah Brown's video "Loving like an Existentialist" today (check her out, I adore her videos, especially her poems!) and it hit me that no one living in my area really thinks about stuff the way I do and that might be the reason why I never ever had a boyfriend nor anyone who I just clicked with in terms of deeper thinking or anyone who was really into this thing.

You know, guys my age seem to like to drink and party, to be the guy that can have any girl or playing games with girls to make them chase them and simply don't enjoy talking about feelings or (in my eyes) sincere topics.

Most of my friends, too, like drinking and partying (which is generally not a really bad thing to get that straight) and talk about boys and how you should chase them and go along with their games and how you should be lucky to have someone that is kinda into you but still doesn't text you back regularly but that isn't important 'cause he's cool and it is cool to have a boyfriend.

The only person I really know that thinks about stuff as deeply as I do is my internet best friend but we live about six hours apart and sometimes I feel very lonely.

In addition to that, I can only seem to voice my thoughts in English (hence this blog written in English although I'm actually from Germany) and you can't just talk with others in a foreign language like that would be pretty weird, right?

Other than that I have tumblr which is great but I'd really love to have someone who doesn't live miles away to just talk about the things that come to my mind during the day, the questions that are haunting me in my sleep.

However I might just have to remind me that there are people out there who are just like me and someday I'll meet them and I'll find my place in this world somehow.

Until then, I'll hope I'll eventually find a life of my own.

xxx Sarah