Vulnerability.

What do you think of when you read this word?

Weakness? Embarrassment? Wrong?

If yes, don't worry, you're not alone with this. In fact, our society is build up of many, many people (I'm not saying everyone's like that) who think that vulnerability is a flaw that they have to erase out of themselves. That showing emotions is bad. And not only do many prohibit themselves from doing so, no, they also look down on and laugh at people who cry often or don't have that "everything is fine, all the time" smile on their face.

Don't show your hurt. Pretend you don't care. Fake it until you make it. Those are sayings that are so known in our society that we never even question them anymore.

Let me give you a few examples of how this is noticeable.

So, there are a few girls in my grade who are really sensitive. Being like that, they cry a lot, I would even say at least once a week. And people judge them for it. They say "They're crying over nothing" or "They should get over themselves". And although them being emotional over some things might seem to be ridiculous to some of us, that does not mean it's our right to look down on them for it. We don't know what's going on in their lives.

Another example. Last year, one of the students at our school tragically died in an accident during our fall break. When school started again, the first day was a bit different but we still had lessons. Our maths teacher knew the student really well and he was terribly sad over the loss of him. And he started crying. I myself just felt really sorry for him but I was astonished when I talked to a "friend" of mine later who judged him for showing tears, saying that "Men should not cry". Why though? Why should men have to bottle their emotions up, destroying themselves in the process? Why are we so keen on demolishing female stereotypes while at the same time clinging to male stereotypes?

Lastly, in our last French lesson, I immediately noticed that our French teacher was kind of... sad, I think that would describe it best. When I walked home with my friend (who I really like actually but) she told me that she also saw our teacher downtown on Wednesday and that she was sitting in a cafe and crying and said "She also seems to be crying easily and a lot". She didn't even say it in a accusing tone but it immediately came across to me like that. Maybe because since I was little, I was shown by the media that women, nor men should show their tears, at least if they want to seem mature.

Crap, I say.

What's the point of "faking it until you make it"? The only thing that will happen is that you destroy yourself. Because at some time, your emotions will have to blow up and then you aren't capable of handling them anymore because they piled up to a huge mountain of pain.
Taylor Swift once said: "[talking about the song Clean] And it kind of talks about how if you really allow yourself to feel pain, I think maybe it’s easier to get past it. For most people that I’ve known who’ve fought through struggle, a lot them who have really just faced the pain head on have come out OK a lot faster than the ones who just pretended to be in denial of it."

I wish we would take that advice to heart. And I wish we would stop judging people for showing emotions, for being vulnerable. Because in the end, vulnerability is what makes us human the most. And we should not be ashamed to display our feelings.

Maybe vulnerability just helps you to grown and to eventually find a life of your own.

xxx Sarah