miss (verb)

[TRANSITIVE] to feel sad about someone because they are not with you any more

"He was a tower of strength, and we miss him enormously."

Have you ever missed someone? Like felt an ache or an emptiness or a longing for someone that could only be fulfilled if you met that person again?

If you've been on this earth for a few years, you probably have. Dead family members, friends, old lovers - we've all been there. We all probably spent some sleepless nights wondering what the other person is doing right now, if they're thinking of you or maybe even if there's an after life or not.

Missing people. It happens to me a lot. I miss Taylor Swift for example (but that's no news - she's been away for months on end and half of our fandom is missing her). I often miss my long-distance friends. Although we hold contact through texting, it's just not the same as having someone sitting next to you, laughing about some stupid joke or talking about subjects that really concern you.

I've also missed people I fell in love with. When I had my first "real" crush (which wasn't a real real one in hindsight but), I often couldn't sleep thinking about him. "I Almost Do" describes this pretty good:

"I bet this time of night you're still up. I bet you're tired from a long, hard week. I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window, looking out at the city and I hope sometimes you wonder about me."

Right now is another phase of missing someone. A person that's long gone. But still there. In my mind. In my heart. Often times when I see this one person, I feel like he does, too. My heart tells me so. But then again, a heart can be easily fooled for it only sees what it wants to see.

When I haven't seen him in a while, I mostly don't think he does. Why would he, anyway? My heart still clings to it, though.

Technically, missing someone isn't a bad thing as it reminds us of where our heart is. But on the other hand, it can stop you from meeting new people, from letting them in. From thinking "Hey, maybe they could be someone that really cares about me" or "Maybe they could make my life better" (I've been there, too, lately).

So is there anything to do against it? I'm not sure. Maybe it's about reminding yourself that this feeling, too, will pass as many did. Eventually everything fades away, right? 

I sometimes wish there was an immediate solution. Or like some wikihow article which is like "follow these steps and you'll never miss that person ever again". But it's not that easy, isn't it?

I hope I'll have a chance to figure this out one day. Until then, despite the missing of people, I will continue to try to find a life of my own.

xxx Sarah

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P.S.: Sorry for not posting for more than two weeks. I just want to make sure that every post on here comes right from my heart and isn't something I write down just to get it done. You know what I mean? Anyways, I'll try to post more regular again.