It's been awhile since I posted on here again. I was quite busy actually due to my high school finals but because there's a tiny break at the moment I had the time to think about a lot of things again.

Anyways, I had the idea for this post for like months but I either didn't have the time or just felt like I'm not an expert on this topic, but today I was like, screw it. There's still the possibility that this helps anyone of you out.

So, quick recap, in 2014, when I finally switched classes, I was a terribly shy and socially awkward person with barely any real friends in my grade, let alone in my hometown (I was close with like one girl who used to be in my class but wasn't anymore). Well, technically, I still am that sort of person but I found ways to work around it without having to change my whole persona completely and forcing myself to do things that would make me extremely uncomfortable (such as trying to draw as much attention to myself as possible).

As of today, I have a bunch of acquaintances - something that isn't bad per se because they make school less lonelier - but also found some people I would definitely consider friends. This what helped me:

Ground rule: Be kind to people. And try to stay true to yourself.
I know, I know, you're probably tired of hearing this but from my own experience I can confirm that it really goes a long way. People notice it when you radiate kindness and it will eventually draw the right people to you. (and I promise you don't have to be the most outgoing person ever - I am not myself)

tip no. 1: sit down next to new people
It's as easy as it sounds. Or perhaps you consider this step as difficult but it actually isn't. When I switched my arts class at the beginning of 11th grade, I found myself in a class where I really didn't know anyone well at all. Not even really acquaintance-wise. But there was this girl who was close friends with that one friend I had in 2014 and I always kinda admired her from afar, because she was so confident but also like really nice. So when I entered the class room on my first day I saw her sat down near the front of the room with an empty space next to her and I just went "Hey, would you mind if I sit next to you?" and sat down and that kinda was the initial step that sparked our friendship. Funnily enough, a couple of months ago said friend brought up that exact moment to another girl and was like "Just sit down next to someone! That's how Sarah and I became friends!" and it made me really happy to be honest. (this tip also applies to lunch rooms and anything similar to that)

tip no. 2: join a club
When I joined our school's drama club I actually did it - besides the fact that acting is a passion of mine - because I felt like it would push me out of comfort zone more while also being something that I love. That doesn't have to be acting - it can also be something like a debating club or - if public speaking scares you - a sports club or even something small as a book club. It doesn't matter but the point of this tip is that you'll meet people there who also like the same things as you, as they joined that club, too. Of course you will not get along with each and everyone of them but perhaps some of them, and isn't that enough?

tip no. 3: take part in conversations
Now, this is where it gets more difficult for people as painfully shy as me. But as always, do baby steps: Maybe you're now sitting next to people you like and they talk to their friends and you overhear them mentioning a book you read or perhaps a musician you like. Try to join the conversation with perhaps "Oh, I adore that book!" or "Have you listened to *song of that musician*?". Another perk of this: You'll find out if you have similar interests and hence know great conversation starters.

tip no. 4: sit down next to them on the bus. or if you walk in a similar direction home, ask if you can accompany them.
I actually live quite close to school but I still walk every morning. This resulted in many confused stares and people asking "Why aren't you riding your bike? That would be so much faster!". And while, yes, it would be, the reason why I'm not doing it is that this way I can walk home with my friends. And you actually get to know a person much better outside of the scheme of school. Also: If you find that they are not your type of person, you know that your conversation is limited time-wise, so you'll eventually escape it. (better than meeting up and not knowing when it will be over)

tip no. 5: help other people out
That kinda goes along with the ground rule. My grades in school are generally very good and I find it to be easy to understand our curriculum. Often times, people would come up to me like "Hey, can you please explain this to me? I don't get it at all" so that's what I did.
Actually, the one of the first friends I made in my new class in 2014 was because I a) asked her if I could sit down next to her in French. After our first French lesson of the year, when I was about to go home, she was like "Can I have your phone number? French is not that easy for me and that way you could perhaps help me out with today's homework". So that's what we did.
Another friend of mine mentioned this exact thing to me last year as one of the main reasons why she likes me so much. And you are more or less able to stay within the boundaries of your comfort zone.

Finally, I want to point out that of course it was not only my efforts that established these friendships. I also met some incredibly kind people who wanted to be friends with me themselves and put in a lot of effort in getting to know me, so these tips are perhaps nothing more than a starter for you. But maybe try it out if it works for you, too. And if you fail - don't worry, the right people WILL find you. I pinky promise. You will find a life of your own.

xxx Sarah