I felt this way for a long time and yesterday I thought "What if someone out there feels like that, too?", so I just have to post about this.

"This" is the feeling that you just want to hug someone really tight or cuddle. But only a specific person, whose hug makes you feel whole again.

The last few times I had a crush on someone I always thought I needed that person's hug but in the end it didn't fulfill me somehow. It made me happy for a short period of time but this emptiness in my chest stays and I don't know how to make it go away.

And hugging is really so important. Besides the fact that it releases hormones that make us feel good and happy and safe, it makes not only you but also the person you hug happy.

Maybe you have seen these videos going around in which people hold up signs that read "Free hugs" and so, so many people go into it because we, as human beings, just need the contact with others. Not necessarily relationship-wise but in the way of interacting with others.

As a twelve-/thirteen-year-old when the whole hugging-friends-to-greet-them thing started I was bummed. Not that I thought it was weird or something like that but more that I felt kinda uncomfortable with it and I also never know if it is appropriate to hug that person or if we're not close enough friends to do that (just kidding, I still have this problem to this day. I just wish we could invent some kind of universal greeting and saying goodbye gesture, that would be really nice). This then led to a ton of awkward moments as I'm already awkward like that and this not-knowing made me do really strange hand gestures. 

However, now it is something that I long for in some kind of way (if that makes any sense?), that I really enjoy doing. Like, honestly, I'd love to just hug people all day long if that was possible.

Anyways, all I seem to want lately is someone to hug me and to not let go for a few seconds so that I can feel some sort of whole again if that is ever possible. Or maybe I need a special person, I don't know. I just want to fulfill that need in some kind of way.

I hope there is any chance that I'm not alone in this and I also hope that the emptiness won't stop me from finding a life of my own.

xxx Sarah

P.S.: Would you like to see some kind of fall playlist post? I have listened to so many folk/indie music the last week and I just feel the need to share it with everyone because it makes me feel so chill and... Anyway, you know what I mean, just let me know.